DOCTOR DOCTOR!
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I’m invisible
Who said that?
Doctor, Doctor My little boy has just swallowed a roll of film!
Hmmmm.Let's hope nothing develops.
Doctor, Doctor, I can't get to sleep.
Sit on the edge of the bed and you'll soon drop off.
Doctor, Doctor my husband smells like fish
Poor sole !
Doctor, doctor I keep thinking I'm a bee
Buzz off can't you see I'm busy?
Doctor, Doctor Have you got something for a bad headache?
Of course. Just take this hammer and hit yourself in the head. Then you'll have a bad headache.
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a bridge
What's come over you?
Oh, two cars, a large truck and a coach.
Doctor Doctor I feel like biscuits!
What, you mean those square ones?
Yes!
The ones you put butter on?
Yes!
Oh, You're Crackers!
Doctor Doctor I swallowed a bone.
Are you choking?
No, I really did!
Doctor, Doctor Can I have second opinion?
Of course, come back tomorrow!
Doctor, Doctor I’ve lost my memory!
When did this happen?
When did what happen?
Doctor, Doctor everyone keeps throwing me in the garbage.
Don't talk rubbish!
Doctor, Doctor you have to help me out!
Certainly, which way did you come in?
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm God
When did this start?
Well first I created the sun, then the earth...
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a dog.
Sit on the couch and we will talk about it.
But I'm not allowed up on the couch!
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a bell?
Take these and if it doesn't help give me a ring.
Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.
I'll deal with you later.
Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do?
Use a pencil ‘till I get there
Doctor, Doctor You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking
Do you drink a lot?
Not really - I spill most of it!
Doctor, Doctor you've taken out my tonsils, my adenoids, my gall bladder, my varicose veins and my appendix, but I still don't feel well.
That's quite enough out of you !
Doctor, Doctor I'm becoming invisible.
Yes I can see you're not all there !
Doctor, Doctor my sister thinks she is a lift!
Well tell her to come in
I can't she doesn't stop at this floor!
Doctor how can I cure my sleep walking ?
Sprinkle tin-tacks on your bedroom floor !
Doctor these pills you gave me for BO...
What's wrong with them ?
They keep slipping out from under my arms !
Doctor, Doctor When I press with my finger here... it hurts, and here... it hurts, and here... and here... What do you think is wrong with me?
You have a broken finger!
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a vampire.
Necks please!
Doctor, Doctor My little boy has just swallowed a roll of film!
Hmm. Let's hope nothing develops.
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a sheep.
That's baaaaaaaaaad !
Doctor: You seem to be in excellent health. Your pulse is as regular as clockwork.
Patient: That's because you've got your hand on my watch !
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a needle.
I see your point !
Tell me straight Doc, Is it bad ?
Well, I ouldn't start watching any new soap operas !
Doctor Doctor I feel like a racehorse.
Take one of these every 4 laps !
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a bee.
Well buzz off I'm busy !
Doctor, Doctor I'm a burglar !
Have you taken anything for it ?
Doctor, Doctor I keep seeing double.
Please sit on the couch.
Which one !
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a telephone.
Well, take these pills and if they don't work then give me a ring !
Doctor: You need new glasses
Patient: How do you know ?, I haven't told you whats wrong with me yet
Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window !
Doctor, Doctor I'm having trouble with my breathing.
I'll give you something that will soon put a stop to that !
Doctor, Doctor I tend to flush a lot.
Don't worry it's just a chain reaction !
Doctor, Doctor everyone thinks I'm a liar
Well I can't believe that !
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a dog.
How long have you felt like this?
Ever since I was a puppy!
Doctor, Doctor my baby is the image of his father
Never mind just so long as he's healthy
Doctor, Doctor what did the x-ray of my head show?
Absolutely nothing !
Doctor Doctor I think I'm a moth.
So why did you come around then?
Well, I saw this light at the window...!
Doctor, doctor my baby's swallowed a bullet
Well don't point him at anyone until I get there !
Doctor, Doctor I need something to keep my falling hair in
What about a matchbox !
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a python
You can't get round me just like that you know !
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a mosquito
Go away, sucker !
Doctor Doctor I think I'm a moth.
So why did you come around then ?
Well, I saw this light at the window...!
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm an adder
Great, can you help me with my accounts then please!
Doctor, Doctor I keep painting myself gold
Don't worry it's just a gilt complex !
Doctor, Doctor I've got wind! Can you give me something?
Yes - here's a kite!
Doctor, doctor my sister here keeps thinking she's invisible
Which sister ?
Doctor, Doctor I'm on a diet and it's making me irritable. Yesterday I bit someones ear off.
Oh dear, that's a lot of calories !
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a yo-yo
Are you stringing me along !
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a vampire
Necks please!
Doctor Doctor I swallowed a bone
Are you choking ?
No, I really did !
Doctor, Doctor I dream there are monsters under my bed, what can I do ?
Saw the legs off of your bed !
Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a caterpillar
Don't worry you'll soon change!
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm an electric eel
That's shocking !
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a woodworm
How boring for you !
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a rubber band
Why don't you stretch yourself out on the couch there and tell me all about it !
Doctor, Doctor I snore so loud I keep myself awake
Sleep in another room then !